peguincodex

These are dangerous times for the likes of me. How am I going to survive the next few years? haha beats me. Rolling with the punches gets too much dirt on my shirt. I like my shirts clean. Ah dam, I've got one of those new mosquito traps. They attract insects with this crazy bright UV light and shock them to death. It gives that satisfying zap and it's got about 20 kills today.

Unfortunately not all are mosquitoes. Some are just harmless moths and flying ants. It's really terrible, every few seconds or so, ZAPP!! and just like that, another innocent being leaves this world. It's that helpless sad feeling. I feel like turning it off but I know I'm going to get bitten.

Anyway, had a SCMUN outing yesterday! It was mad fun seeing all my friends again! Plus Dorothy gave me a red vroom vroom car from korea! and it had this super sweet note! Even my brother wanted to play with it! haha thanks dor! LOL I never knew julia could be so sick! She owes me a live journal btw, I'm going to hound her. Shawn was soo quiet but he's a dam nice guy. Adam was his usual jokey jokey self! Manick was hungry and insane. Krit was her usual jokingly fun self also! I nearly lost her shoes after burying them in the sand but Adam found them. dammit. hahaha!

I'm quite happy now, with a whole influx of emotions and memories. I've got so such time on my hands and I've got big hands.



Ninjas are buried here.

We're allowed some slack right? As humans? Perhaps a little distance to fall back on and a little safe ledge in case we falter. Honestly you can't accept everything all the time. That's not very human is it?



There we have it, the Mongolian Death Worm. It's a cryptid so don't expect to see it in your biology text book just yet. But it sure as heck looks bloody cool. Supposedly able to spit sulfuric acid and emit an electrical discharge, it's got to be the most over-powered worm ever.

Okay! Breakfast at Uncle's house and I'm missing the first 2 days of SJAB camp! Had to wake up at 5 just to go for a 3 day residential camp but thanks to an Aikido grading I have to attend, I'm exempted from the first 2 days of pure hell. Aish! The grading is going to be tiring though, 4hrs of getting knocked down and then carrying yourself up, it's more endurance and concentration than anything! Ah well, sure beats the camp. Heard from Krit that there may be a council meeting on Thursday and I'm quite keen on going. Haven't seen most people in ages!

Ah you can't believe how crazily stoned I was yesterday. I took my silicone putty and set it at the edge of a glass table. Then I waited for gravity to do its work. Slowly the rubbery mass deforms and creeps over the edge. Just waiting for the surface tension to even out.....dam non-Newtonian fluid. And then at last, the putty has screwed it self over, part of it lifelessly dribbles of the edge of the table. Slowly, almost alien. Well it's starts looking like a Salvador Dali piece right about now, pure genius but strange as heck. Thanks to the air con in the room, the temperature was lowered, slowing down all its actions. Its sloth-like pace is actually obvious.

Touchdown.

Houston we have a problem. There's no way this shit is coming of the floor.

Bleach is ossum btw, great fun indeed! PLUS, Assassin's Creed 2 is out. I want it, I need it. Eh but maybe I should check reviews first, sequels are like cursed to suck.


Honestly, I don't believe he has never pricked himself with those things. Though that's cool, dam cool.

I'm getting that morning walk I always wanted, right before the sun rises. Leaving soon, in about ten minutes. Got really hooked on bleach in the past few days. It's a brilliant series and I can't help but to enjoy it. It's been a while since I have found something so entertaining, not to mention addictive hehe.

I'm going to write an important email today. It has been tearing my mind to smithereens lately, like a death warrant on my head. It's the key to my freedom I tell you. Important enough for it to plague my mind every waking minute but insignificant enough for me to completely detach myself from it. Nothing really seems that important eh!

Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

--Reinhold Niebuhr

I may not be a christian but that excerpt from the serenity prayer was a brilliant find. I guess that is really what life is about, accepting what we can and changing what we can as well. Either be happy where you are or make yourself happy by changing the situation. Kinda puts everything in perspective. Slept at 2 last night, that's pretty late for me. Wanted to take a walk in the morning before the sun got up but I woke up too late haha! I'll do it next time I guess.

I've been feeling pretty good lately, there's a lot going on so it really boils down to how I can enjoy every single moment. Saw lots of friends in the last week.

In order of appearance:
Julian's Mom
Myra
Hui Qi
Philip Chin
Adam Koh
Cheryl Seah
Anisha
Ruth
Samuel Goh

Most of these people I never even planned to meet up with! I guess it was just part of my life but still it was great fun I guess! Got to make it through this week. Then I'm pretty much set.

Heck I don't work on Sundays so I'm staying up late. Just chatting with dor about wallabies. You know the book Where's Waldo? He's got to be the most ossum ninja to walk the earth. Most other ninjas wear black. Cue example 1.1.
Example 1.1
http://fans.askaninja.com/forum/topics/1181368:Topic:228054?page=4&commentId=1181368%3AComment%3A1062688&x=1#1181368Comment1062688

You may note the obvious attempt at camouflage, the signature black clothy thingy. If you're sharp, you may also note the impending death awaiting those who stare into his eyes. Compared with Example 1.2.

Example 1.2
http://www.emergentchaos.com/images/07-may/waldo.jpg

Note the complete lack of camouflage and yet this guy hides like a needle in a needle factory. Utter genius, he covers up his assassinations so well that none of us have heard of them. He's the IPhone of the ninja world. I've never fully completed one of his books to date, they're bloody impossible.

The ball is in my field now. I'm slowly turning and warping IBA into what I want. Haha change and mold character? I'm just changing my job description to suit myself. No more intense boredom and stupid senior for me. I'm making myself exclusive, I won't be competing on the same level as them anymore. First, create customer feedback forms, that's something that none of the people there seem to be able to do. That instantly creates a new job for me, writing and handing out forms. oh the joy of human interaction.

Second, revolutionize the pricing system, a great deal of time is wasted on the retarded process of price tagging each and every item. Thus I've recommended to my boss that we create information tags to be attached to the shelves thus making the need for price tags on the items obsolete. Good shit, she immediately agreed that would be great. Now I get to bring my laptop to basically create these tables on excel.

Best thing is, no one can replace me at this, no one there really knows how to use excel or bothers to go through so much trouble. For me, it's the first step to a whole new world of change. First my laptop, next is online capability and the last thing on my list is my own space. I can't change the game but I can sure as hell change the rules of it. They might not like it but they can't really do anything about it. good gosh this feels diabolical.
 

Well after three days of IBA, I've got thoroughly mixed feelings. My job as a grocer consist of insidiously mundane tasks that could be accomplished with a blind monkey. I would consider my first few days as severe intellectual deprivation. Apart from committing the entire map of the shop to my already stagnant mind, I also have to put up with my boss' assistant who completely thinks that I owe her a living. I doubt she knows that I'm working for free. Screw the experience of working, I haven't really learned much at all.

The only fulfilling thing I have done is possibly striking a conversation with customers and helping them do anything they need. Most are either really really rich or simply smart and rich. Yes, I'm their personal butler for a few short minutes. It's strangely satisfying helping people. That's the only thing keeping me from slowly removing the bedrock of this company.

The other creepily interesting thing is possibly the fact that the people who I meet and work for aren't entirely well versed with both sides of the controversial coin. When you start digging up controversies that even your boss is ignorant of, work gets really fun. Every time a customer buys something, you know the clouded past and false promises of each and every item, you secretly laugh to yourself. But ignorance is bliss and I shall not share this information with them. Anyway my duty to the shop prevents me from screwing it up so kudos to that. Still it's possibly the worst way to spend my time. I envy those other people who got ossumer jobs where you actually make a change in the world. I'm trying to convince myself that there's always a bright side to this but I'm pretty sure that it's going to be hard to find.

This is a really shitty post, I know. Probably downed your mood. Anyway I got this to cheer you right up.

http://pictures.todaysbigthing.com/2009/10/16

You see, why don't I choose ossum jobs like this one?

Hey guys, school has officially ended and now I'm left with that surreal sense of loneliness. There's no one to talk with or to be with, I kinda think my mind is slowly easing into a comatose state. Shit, that ain't good. Anyway, this a great time for self-reflection but I have recently shattered my mirror and cursed myself to seven years of bad luck and bad bodily image.

Anyway, I think it's time for my friends to know some of my deepest darkest secrets. Inside of my carnal shell lies a very different person and here are my top ten secrets that you probably never knew. They are in no particular order.

1. I love playing cards and doing tricks with them. I swear of have like 6 packs of them within arms reach right now. Good packs, bicycle brand.

2. I think gardening is dam cool and always wanted to keep a bonsai. Unfortunately I'm stuck with a rather exotic sundew plant. Kudos to him.

3. I'm a certified first-aider and can do CPR.

4. I used to paint miniature models.

5. I think kopipeng tastes better than tehping. That does not mean I'm not a tehpenguin. Suck it up.

6. I used to do Chinese calligraphy  and made it to the top ten in a national competition.

7. I love marine life but I'm scared of open ocean.

8. When I take a shit, it's a lengthy process that requires good reading material.

9. I watch asian food channel A LOT and have read almost every cooking book in this house.

10. Every one must SMILE at my funeral, if you cry, I'll aim my sunshine beam at you. You die.

There you go! Ten potentially blackmail worthy facts to add to your arsenal! Love all you guys, the world would be uber bleak without you.
You can have peace. Or you can have freedom. Don’t ever count on having both at once. -Lazarus Long

Hey hey! Just found out the new Iron Man 2 movie-eh is starring Whiplash! Coming out on May 7 next year, someone HAS to follow me to watch this. Whoever the hell you are, you better bring a fresh change of underwear.



Are you seeing how buffed up and cool this guy is? He looks deadly. No shit Sherlock, that's death taking a piss from his wrists over there. Speaking of piss, how the hell does he use the toilet? He's bound to have some unwanted short-circuiting with those electric thingums lashing around.


And here is what he looks like in the movie. Come on, are you serious? That's not the face of a hardened killer, he looks like hobo Joe attached to a pretty cool looking dialysis machine. Ever been hit by a rubber band? Look out, this guy has them.


However, they starred Scarlett Johansson as the Black Widow. Not a bad choice, she does look lethally pretty and pretty lethal. This is one thing they haven't screwed up on. Woohoo, they kept Robert as Iron Man! Not bad, not bad. With all the new games and movies coming out next year, 2010 does look like a promising year to mess up!

Never judge a book by its cover. The lesson is, rip the covers off your books. That's what I did to A math over here.

Freedom isn't free but it sure tastes like what it's worth. I did Tai Chi yesterday with my parents. Haha gosh knows what possessed me then. Hey it's not as slow as you think! Oh gosh the guy's a bloody ninja! He's not insanely buffed up and all but he sure looks like he can kill you just by staring.

Time is on my side now, with about 2 months of it to spare. I'm not going overseas though, got some things that need to be settled. Bummer. Oh well, I'm sure I'll find some way to pass time, I'm good at that. Dam good.

Oh yeah I dug up this little nugget of randomness just today. It's about saving the Earth, Green peace and all.

Dorothy says:

ahahaha WHOOOOOSH. nahhh. air pollution

doing my bid to save the environment and all that

Si Hao says:

oh yes

haha how silly of me

but the blender!

no air pollution!

twice the fun!

Dorothy says:

ahahaha but spoiling your mother's blender on paper! not to mention you'll be picking little splinters out of your smoothies after

Si Hao says:

splinters!

dear gosh dorothy!

we aren't blending wooden planks!

that's just medieval

we're just using it to shred paper

Dorothy says:

ahahahahahahahaahhaahahahahhahahahaha but paper shreds! your tongue will die! DEATH FROM PAPERCUTS!

Si Hao says:

haha this day has been insane

we have dervied 2 ways to die

one

from papercuts from blended exam notes

two

imapled by a frozen spear of urine falling from sky

Dorothy says:

most productive day yet i feel! ;D

Si Hao says:

haha yups!

einstein would be proud

if not dead

oh wait

he's dead

screw the pride

Al Gore would be proud. Kudos.

Oh 20-7-6-68 what a bane you are. Strangely, none of you are radioactive, what blatant irony. 20-7-6-68 you aren't that bad are you? Maybe just a few footfalls away from the mainstream but people still hate you, hell you freaking kill them. Still, I need to thank you, you pretty much make me feel much better about my life. I feel like I have my whole life in my hands and I never want to let it go! Everything seems so much smaller with you, 20-7-6-68. Sure you suck like hell, don't you ever forget that.

However, you make me feel like there's no point thinking ahead or behind cause you might never make it that far. Everything that I have just falls into perspective with you around!  It's like living on cloud nine. With 20-7-6-68 around, I know i shouldn't be too happy but if there ever is a time to look at the bright side, this is it.

20-7-6-68 go figure.

A lot of exams down, one more to go. Not 2, not 3, not duck but ONE. I've been paying closer attention to that video where tazer swift gets interrupted by kanye(ast) west and I must say, he's got guts. Not just the usual stomach, intestine or the occasional lung (I swear it's a gut in the errrrrm.......pancreatic chamber......yes that's it). They're proper scaled man-sized ones like those homo sapiens (btw I found out that all species names have to be bold and underlined)

Anyhoo, take a gander at the sporadic table of laments

1. Highdrogen                 (very volatile, very sexy)
2. Gleelium                      (new episode out today btw)
3. Lithe-thium                  (very bendy, no shit sherlock)
4. Burylium                      (found underground, coincidence? I think not.)
5. Moron                           (extremely common)
6. Carbomb                      (very dangerous)
7. Nitrogents                    (explosive charisma)
8. Foxygen                        (very attractive)
9. Floorine                        (it lies)
10. Noel                             (yeah I just made this one up, bonds well with rawrshell)
11. Sodumb                     (commonly found on yew hehe)
12. Meganesium            (power over 9000+)
13. Alu-minimum           (very rare)
14. Sillycon                     (no i'm serious)
15. Phosphorawrs        (explosive reaction)
16. Slutfur                        (harvested from with use of ducktape from yew hehe)
17. Clawreen
18. Arghhh! gone!          (shit man, that's no good)
19. Protestnium
20. Calcium                    (fictional element)
21. Scandaladium      

There we go guys! the sporadic table of laments! (1-10 will form james bonds)

See you all tomo or the days that follow! tazer fast! tazer swift!

My life is way bleak. Then I remind myself that they're so many  starving ppl out there with no shelter and I feel like a jerk. That just makes me feel like a depressed jerk. S MUN got canceled, why? Cause apparently there were delays, impatient n00bs. Then i messed up chem way bad and my teacher came up to me after chem. He said I'm going to do well and all. Gosh i hate to disappoint him. Now i got to re-plan my holidays and go for a shitjab camp.

There this massive hole in my life where all the happiness just seems to fall into. When something great happens, it just slowly ebbs away into this cesspit. I just want to sleep all this off but the dam thing is going to stare me in my face when i wake up. Noel and Rochelle go get a livejournal please.

CHEMping

A Psychological Research paper
By Professor Master Chief, PhD in ninja ossumness and brain structure
      Professor Dorothy, PhD in neuro-linguistics and hot guys

Abstract
It's a freaking abstract what the hell do you think goes here?!

Introduction
C math and A math are very different, though both suck to a large extent. However, their approaches to the field of errrm, let's say numbers, are very different. This research paper seeks to evaluate which math sucks more

Problem Solving
When C math encounters an unresponsive printer, it presses the ON button
When A math encounters an unresponsive printer, it seeks to recreate the printer, call it something new, add three more useless buttons, change the ink five times and then rearrange all the color cartridges.

Ethics
In C math, angles between 0 to 180 exist. Trigonometry makes sense and can be use to solve problems.
In A math, angle between 0 to a shitload exist. There are also negative angles and angles like 720. Trigonometry makes no sense though it is an excellent way to derive random numbers.

User-Friendliness
C math is easy to understand and any functions available are easy to apply
A math is written in pseudo-latin

Conclusion
C math is okay, while A math sucks a lot. A math should be kept out of reach from small children as they might develop brain cancer.

Limitations
It's math, we can't understand it wth do you want?

All the best for your exams! Hope this helps!

Well my good friends! today I'm deciding to be a good samaritan and share with you 2 of my award winning gourmet recipes. Apocalypse i see? Well fret not my dear buddies, today's recipes have been specially modified for this very special occasion! Assuming you still have a mouth, that has not been burned away by nuclear fallout, and the mental capacity of a 5 year old, these recipes should be no problem!

Ash Browns
Requires:
1 irradiated and charred building
1 scraper thingum

Apply scraper to surface until a generous amount of the infrastructure is removed. Proceed to enjoy, eat with what's left of hands.

Tsunami Toast
Requires:
1 toaster that lies
1 piece of scavenged bread
1 tsunami

Combine ingredients and mix generously. Don't skimp on the tsunami here! make sure it's good quality tsunami that ranks high on the ritcher scale! Remember good ingredients equates to good food!

And there we are, 2 perfect recipes to enjoy during armageddon! Don't worry about the calories, all that exercise from running from zombies or ninja-pirates will do you some good!

Dear Survivors of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse,

Today was no fun. If a subject could be charged with manslaughter, physics would be a serial killer. Oh sure give us hope and then knock us down a cliff covered with lemon juice and crushed glass. Paper 1 was rather simple and made me feel rather good about doing physics. Paper 2 was like a punch to the groin. It hurts so bad but you can't scream. Well you really can't, it's an exam hall for crying out loud. You should have seen the candidates after paper 2, boy did we look like depressed lepers!

Oh well, in light of recent events, this is now officially my slack day. ODST is sweet btw!!! I can understand why they needed they artsy, complex, mature, dark and monotonous mood but honestly, who enjoys stumbling around in darkness? Fight scenes are bloody intense! I'm not playing it on legendary just yet....I think heroic is as much as I can handle with the rookie. Overall, it's fantastic, can't wait to play firefight. Plus its head shots galore! Never been easier!

Yours sincerely,
Iron Chef

Sound of Silence (interspersed with gunfire)

Hello! I'm super relieved lag arts is over!!! Corpse maths went great too! well kinda great? I made a few careless mistakes here and there (like spelling parallelogram wrongly T_T) but still, I should be getting a grade 7!!! WOOHOO

Oh I got this epicness short hair cut!! It's super super short!!! Tomorrow is feesics and I sure hope it's an easy paper! I need that 7!
After physics i pretty much got the whole day free to slack off! oh the possibilities!

Cheerio guys!

Hello ppl!

If you aren't in the midst of full-fledged muggery, you might have some time to enjoy some Eddie Izzard. Avery and Noel were doing their renditions of it in school today, if you laughed at that, you'd choke and die on your own spasming tongue when you watch it off youtube.

Exams were so so today, language arts went well and IHS, not so well. Tomorrow I've got lag arts and corpse maths so I'm pretty psyched at getting lag arts over and done with!

Oh I sure hope they're doing a X-Men Origins for Dead Pool!
They screwed up his story in the wolverine one!
FIX IT DAMMIT!
it's the least you could do!
make another movie
and hurry too!